Hey, you guys.
We need to talk about clubbing in Stockholm because I’m still kind of baffled by the system here.
As you all know, I have done my fair share of globe-trotting and when it comes to traveling, exploring nightlife is an absolute must. I mean, how can you say you have really seen a city unless you’ve seen what the dark has to offer? When the city takes off its mask and truly unveils it’s wild nature.
I’ve been to the best of the best and never had problems. Mostly because I have a vagina and I’m out with other vaginas.
BUT, Stockholm is WEIRD.
First of all, clubs have to have a permit for people to dance. If you don’t, you can literally get arrested for dancing. What the actual fuck, right?
Another weird thing is that if you seem fucked up in the SLIGHTEST, you are denied entry. It’s funny because I was out with a group two weeks ago and while we all gained access, the soberest one in our group wasn’t allowed in!
At a friends podcast premiere party on Wednesday (this is a little side note for myself to remember to blog about it), one of the guys in our clan was simply being quiet as we handed over our ID’s to the bouncer and the fucking bouncer says to him, “Yo, are you OK?”
He replied in Swedish that he was fine.
The skeptical bouncer continued to glare at him as he begrudgingly let us in. When I told Olivia (the friend with the podcast that I’m going to tell you guys about in another post), she just rolled her eyes and said, “Oh, yeah, that’s just Sweden”. There’s no rhyme or reason to it. If bouncers in the US pulled that shit, there would be no nightlife at all.
So far, I have been denied into one bar. I went to walk in but a strong arm grabbed me.
“What the fuck?”, I snarled and moved the arm off of me.
He uttered something in Swedish that I didn’t understand and I looked to P for a translation. P explained to me that the guard said I seemed “too out of it” to come in.
I scrunched my face up in annoyance. I was barely even tipsy!
Also, he didn’t have to stop me so aggressively. A simple “Ursäkta” would have sufficed!
Anyways, what I guess I’m trying to say is that going out here is very different than the states. I find myself yearning for Catch and Up & Down in NYC.
However, I have found a couple of spots I do like and here they are with some little stories:
My new friend, Linnea, invited me to see her friend Kevin Faye perform there last Friday. Intrigued and wanting to hear some live music, I got dressed up and headed over to the spot which is about a 5 minute walk from my apartment.
I arrived at the large building that already had a large crowd of people waiting out front. I snaked my way to the guards and explained I was on the list. They nodded their assent and let me in.
I bounded up the stairs and was greeted by a main dance floor with two corridors on each side, both guarded by men and velvet ropes. The performance wasn’t in the main dance floor so I tried going through the left corridor. I asked the guard and he told me the performance was on the other side.
I trotted over to the other man and after getting my name, he moved the velvet rope aside. BUT IT’S NOT OVER.
I think the annoying thing about this place is that there are SO MANY ROOMS. I went up the stairs and found another table/dance area. It was empty save for some people dancing to the DJ for that floor.
This is when I started to get miffed.
Where the fuck was the performance? AND WHERE WAS THE BAR FOR CHRISTS’ SAKE?
( On the website, they actually have a directory for the 8 party rooms available.)
I went back to the stairs and saw there was another hidden room which contained the bar. At this point, I just needed some champagne in me before I continued my hunt. I probably looked like an alcoholic when I made sweet eyes to the glass of Brut being served to me.
I asked the bartender where the music is and he pointed to ANOTHER hallway. I thanked him and continued exploring in this Wonderland-esque place. Left, right, right, stairs, stairs, FINALLY!
I reached the terrace and was blown away. It had woodsy feel but also included glass accents. The main area contained a stage and dance floor, with a bar right behind it.
Kevin took the stage right as I found Linnea.
“There you are!!”, she squealed and enveloped me into a hug. I swear to God, I am in love with Linnea. She looks like a straight up Barbie doll and is the nicest girl in the world.
Kevin played his set and we danced and sang along. Honestly, he reminds me of a mix between Bipolar Sunshine and The Weeknd. Truly amazing voice, style, and stage presence.
When he finished, we all went downstairs to the table to really get the party going. Having been partying in nightclubs for the past 6 years, I am a bit jaded when it comes to being impressed by tables and the cheesy bottle service routines.
However, this was refreshed! It wasn’t just that they had scantily clad girls walk around with sparklers and massive bottles of champagne. No, no, no. The men wore sailor-themed outfits and had gorgeous, model-types on their shoulders with confetti guns, trays of shots and pre-made drinks, and an assortment of bottles. I actually got a tingly feeling that I hadn’t felt since my first days in 1OAK NYC.
This is a place you go if you want that clubby experience: Flashing lights, blaring music, champagne, the whole nine yards.
Bistro Linné/The Cocktail Bar
Okay, okay. I may be a little biased on this one because it’s belongs to one of my favorite families (AKA The Catto’s) but I love this spot.
Technically, it’s a bar and a restaurant.
On the left side, you have a South-of-France-ish café where you can sit outside (or inside, if you prefer) and unwind with a glass or wine or cappuccino. Dani, the owner, pays each table a personal visit and makes everyone feel very welcome. You can usually find me there people watching on Strandvägen with a cigarette dangling from my lips, a glass of rosé in my hand, and my large sunglasses shielding my face.
But that’s just during the day.
At night, you can also find me there on the right side which is the bar/lounge area. A stark contrast from the café, the bar has a more luxurious feel to it: red leather, velvet, arching windows like the kind you find in an old church, etc.
Dani and Kim, the main bartender, are smack dab in the middle of it. The ever-so-patient Kim is taking orders and Dani is surrounded by beautiful girls. I squeeze and snake my way through to Dani who always gives me a, “OOOOOH LOOK WHO JUST STEPPED INTO DA BUILDING!!!!” kind of greeting and cheek kiss.
Going to The Cocktail Bar is always fun because you’re always meeting new people and the vibe is what you make it. You could go there and just be chill OR you can go with that “let’s get weird” mentality. Either way, you’re going to have a good time.
If you decide to go, the first thing you should always do is find Dani and introduce yourself. It doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or a girl, he’s going to be nice and give you a warm welcome.
Let me start this one off by saying, this is not a party place. This is a simple bar that is FUCKING gorgeous. Similar to the “luxe” feeling of the Cocktail Bar, Teaterbaren takes it up a couple notches with its obvious opulence and exclusivity. Not that The Cocktail Bar doesn’t have both of those things, it’s just that Teaterbaren is more secluded and what some would call “snobby”.
But, it’s not snobby. It’s just select. Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have the same treatment if I didn’t go in with my husband but that’s just politics, hey?
Anyways, it reminds me of a place that Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald would have liked to go. Within it’s small space, it is elegant, decadent, and upscale. Just standing in there, I feel like I’m ~someone of importance~.
This is a place I would recommend you to bring your parents if you want to impress them. Just make sure you know the name of the bartender of the night. Perhaps go in a couple days earlier to find out the schedule?
Ahh, Cafe Opera. Or as the Swedes call it, Caf-Ay-Uh-Oo-Prah.
Honestly, any time someone here recommends it, I have no idea what they are talking about because it becomes one word. Then, they explain the location and what it’s like inside, blah blah blah.
My ignorant American ass always accidentally blurts, “OOOOH, you mean Cafe AH-PER-AH?”
What I love so much about this place is the music and how pretty it is inside. I went for the first time with Chaya when we maybe had a bit too much to drink at Grand Escalier. It was a fucking blast.
The inside of Cafe Opera reminds me of an old church with intricate crown molding and ceiling art. The ornate chandeliers and masquerade masks are just cherries on top. Although I may not remember every time I go there, I am POSITIVE that I always have an amazing time.
Yet, somehow, this is the only photographic evidence I have from there. Aka closing time:
Before you enter, make sure you seem sober. The guards there are hard-asses and will not let you in! Also, be prepared for some kind of a themed party and wear something neutral to go with whatever prop you may receive.
I got a hot pink feather boa last time so…
Do with this information what you will.