I really shocked you guys, huh?
It was by far the biggest secret I have ever had to keep. And when I say secret, I mean nobody knew.
Sure, I had told my mom, sister, and a few of my closest girlfriends but everyone else was kept in the dark. Even my dad. Yikes.
A big reason it was kept a secret is because I didn’t want to deal with a fuck-ton of questions and lecturing. Plus, I love surprising people.
As expected, a lot of people have come to their own conclusions. I’ve already gotten: “Are you pregnant?”, “Did he need a green card?”, ” Are you in some kind of Taken situation and need me to get all Liam Neeson on this shit?”
The last one I made up but I would’ve loved if someone did ask that.
So, I am writing this post to explain myself/tell you guys everything.
If you’ve read my love story saga about The Swede then you kind of already know our backstory. We only met just a couple months ago when I was fresh out of a relationship and The Swede had only 30 days left on his vacation before returning to Sweden. I think I also told you guys about how we basically became addicted to each other and decided to make the most of his remaining time in the States. However, you may not know that after 1.5 weeks of this, we fell in love.
I remember laying in bed with him after making love and staring into each others eyes. We were completely silent, daring the other one to speak first and say what we were both thinking: What are we going to do at the end of the month?
He said it first.
“I love you”
A smile crept up on my face.
“I love you too”
It wasn’t just any “I love you”. You guys know how weird I am when it comes to emotions and how I would never say those three little words within such a short time. But I felt it deep in my bones. I was completely consumed by this boy.
A couple days later, we went to his Swedish friends house in Fort Lauderdale for a night out. As we all sat around the patio table telling them our love story, they asked us what was next.
“She’s moving to Sweden with me”
I nearly choked on the Screwdriver I was drinking.
The Swede, who has a habit of shocking/provoking, grinned at me.
“Will you move to Sweden with me?”
Astonished and taken aback, I stammered to find words.
“Um, yeah… I mean, YES! Of course, I will!”
Everyone cheered and congratulated me. We went on about our evening talk and I felt I was floating on air. I wanted to be with him and that seemed like the only answer to us continuing our amazing affair.
Maybe an hour or so later, we had all gone back inside and were listening to music and just having a fun time. I had excused myself for a cigarette and The Swede followed me out. He sat on one of the wooden chairs and pulled me to his lap.
“Did you really mean it? Will you really come back to Sweden with me?”, he implored, staring at me with those beautiful, large, puppy-dog eyes.
I threw my head back and chuckled.
“YES! I actually meant it!”
We looked at each other and giggled like kids. Then, he spoke again.
“Good. Because I never want to be apart from you ever again. I’m so in love with you. “
I snuggled into his arms and inhaled his heavenly scent. Ugh, Dior Sauvage.
“Me too. I am so fucking in love with you it’s crazy”
Just when I thought I experienced every emotion I could, he drops another bomb.
“Will you marry me?”
At that time, I burst out in uncontrollable laughter. Not that it was funny but that was how my brain coped with extreme sentiments. When he didn’t move his face or laugh along with me, I knew he was serious.
Regaining my composure, I stopped and stared back at him.
“Wait, you’re serious?”
He nodded his head.
“We just met! You’ve already gotten me to agree to Sweden!”
Like something out of a movie, he brushed a strand of hair away from my face and made me melt.
“I know but when you know, you just know. And, I know I want to be with you forever. I have never been so happy or calm in my entire life. I know it’s been two weeks but I feel it. I want you to be mine forever”
In that moment, it hit me. All of the pain and sadness I had ever felt; the empty feeling that seemed everlasting; and the depressing notion that I could never truly be happy with just one person. It ceased. He had me.
I was his forever.
Now, I know this is probably reading like some sort of Nicholas Sparks book but it’s not all rainbows and butterflies. I will try to finish the rest of the story when I get back from running errands!
Love you, guys.