I’ve been wanting to get a Brazilian wax for the longest time. All of my friends have recommended it and I had heard that it was a great, long-term investment. Today, I decided to get it done.
What a lot of guys (and some girls) don’t know is that you have to let the hair grow long before you get it waxed. Like, almost to a 70’s bush. For me, this wasn’t too difficult because I fucking hate shaving my bikini line. The only reason I do shave is for sex. Otherwise, fuck that. I would have cornrowed pubes.
The first thing I did this morning when I woke up was call the place across the street. SoLinda Waxing Oasis is pretty popular so I crossed my fingers that they would be able to get me in for a quickie. After discussing pricing, Linda told me that if I came right away, she could take me.
Brandon and I walked over to the salon. I smoked my cigarette and began to feel anxious. I just kept thinking about the pain I was going to feel. Brandon reassured me that it would only be temporary and I would love the results. But how temporary!?
We walked in and Linda greeted us with a smile. She handed me a form to fill out that basically said they wouldn’t be responsible if I was scarred or burned. She instructed me to take off my panties and lay down with butterfly legs. Suddenly, I was very aware that my vagina was exposed in a room with two other people. Yeah, Brandon wanted to come in and “hold my hand”.
Linda made small talk with me and told me what I should expect. She said that the first time is always the worst because the hair is so deep and I’m also used to shaving. She began to apply the blue, tacky goo onto my bikini line. Linda’s method is ripping the thick wax off instead of using the tear sheets. The tear sheets hurt way more, FYI.
It was time. The blue wax had hardened and I braced myself. Linda instructed me to breathe in and –
Holy fuck, did that hurt like a bitch!
I tensed my legs up and squeezed B’s hand. A stinging feeling soon followed. My bikini area instantly reddened as I prepared for the next tear.
Yep, the second one hurt just as bad. Just a couple more, she kept reminding me. Brandon was sweet-talking me as he held my hands as if I was giving birth. The situation made me laugh but the sharp, searing pain made me stop instantly.
Next, it was time to wax the “pubic mound”. I had felt like the worst was probably over and, boy, was I wrong. Although, I have to say, it didn’t hurt as much as the bikini line. This part happened more quickly and didn’t leave such a lasting discomfort. Linda spent the most time on this area as there was more hair.
Afterwards, THE LIPS! This portion terrified me because it’s so close to my clitoris and labia. Brandon felt me shaking and even offered to have his stomach waxed. One again, I began to laugh and RIIIIIIIIIP! Comparing the bikini line to the lips, the bikini line was a breeze. This made me almost jump off of the waxing table.
“You’re doing soooo good! You haven’t cursed at me once!”, Linda assured me.
Like a good doctor, Linda has amazing bedside manner.
I tried to relax for the next side to be hacked off. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…
“You’re done! Wow! Amazing job!”, Linda exclaimed. I felt like I had just run a marathon or something. The shooting pain subsided and I felt instant relief.
Uh oh, it’s time for the butt.
Linda saw my face and quickly pronounced, “It doesn’t hurt as much as the pubic area!”
I exhaled as she began to lather my ass crack with the blue wax. At this point, I wasn’t too worried because that skin isn’t as sensitive or thin as my pubic area. Besides, two strips and it’s over.
Hm. Not so bad actually.
THEN, IT WAS FINALLY OVER!
Linda high-fived me and I felt like a champion. I had just nailed my first cooch-waxing. I wouldn’t have to worry about shaving for two-three weeks! AH! YES!
Linda rang me up and gave me 25% off of my first Brazilian waxing which made it come out to $30-something. Also, I purchased Tuél Clear It Blemish Control Gel for exfoliating and preventing razor bumps. I vowed to Linda that she is the only person in the world that is allowed to wax me.
Would I recommend waxing?
Yes, I would. Sure, the first time hurts but the results are amazing. My vagina has never looked so beautiful. Definitely worth the money and pain.
If you are in Delray/Boynton/West Palm area, I highly suggest you go to Linda at SoLinda Waxing Oasis. She took such great care of me and made me feel instantly comfortable. Also, you get 25% off of your first waxing. If you do go, definitely mention my name/site for extra goods!
SoLinda Waxing Oasis
640 E Ocean Ave Ste 9
Boynton Beach FL 33425