Today, I randomly began searching through my old tagged photos from when I was in high school. It feels weird to look at. Like I’m looking at a stranger.
In most of the pictures, I’m a drunk 14 year old doing stupid things with my friends. My style was horrendous: True Religion dark wash blue jeans, Jack Rogers sandals, and the most padded bras in the world. I always felt bad when I let a guy touch my braless chest because I felt like I had let them down. I had one bra in particular that turned my its bitty A-cups into monstrous C-cups. Jesus Christ, the braces. The fugly braces are the worst part. Why did I think it was okay to smile with teeth during this time?
Going from ’09 to present, I’m feeling quite nostalgic. It’s weird to think that I was this innocent kid who knew absolutely nothing about the real world. With each click on an arrow, you can see my strange evolution. One that was clearly not normal for most teenage girls. There’s a photo of me moving into my first apartment at the age of 17 in LA whereas my friends were preparing for prom and going to football games at the time. I always think of what my life would be like if I hadn’t started modeling and it makes me shudder. Where would I be? Who would I be?
I wouldn’t take back leaving high school and modeling if you offered me a million dollars. I feel as if I learned so much more about life by being catapulted into adulthood. Sure, there’s parts of me that feel like my innocence was “ripped away” from me but it was my choice. And I stand by it. I have no college education (nor do I have a proper high school diploma for that matter), but I’ve been able to turn things I love doing into lucrative careers. I loved acting so I dabbled in acting. I loved style so I became a stylist. I loved writing so I created a blog that’s quickly becoming a brand. Now, we are almost 4 months deep and we are receiving offers to work with fashion companies almost every day. I have no intention of going to college (at the moment) because I simply don’t feel the need to. Also, networking is everything. Unfortunately, a lot of opportunities in life are about who you know. “Your network is your net worth”.
I don’t want you guys to think that I think I’m better than my high school peers. They’re all working on their own projects and doing what they want to do. Although I didn’t get to enjoy the rest of high school with them, I cherish all of the memories that we shared together. We aren’t close anymore because we went our own separate ways when I left. As much as we try, it will never be the same between us because people don’t get what I do.This is a very small and somewhat traditional town so me leaving as a teenager to travel the globe then returning five years later only to start a website where I talk about all of the crazy shit I had tried so hard to keep in the dark is really weird here in Palm Beach. I know people here have mixed feelings about me. Whether it’s jealousy, awe, not giving a fuck, or happiness. Who knows? Who cares?
I know some people say that I’m “different” but that’s because I am! I’m no longer the 14 year old, brace-face, little girl so many people remember me as. I’m 20 and I’ve been through a lot of things most 20 year olds haven’t been through. I’ve had drug problems and eating disorders. I’ve been beaten down emotionally and mentally so many times. I grew up a little too quickly. I’m still Megan. Just with a different last name.
I hope you enjoyed watching me grow up.