WE ARE HEEEEERE!
By here, I mean Boston.
Our flight was hellish. Brandon and I actually had a couple drinks before our flight and got a bit tipsy. We met a lovely woman at the bar and she actually fell in love with my LUMA bracelet so I decided to give it to her. We noticed that our plane was basically fully boarded and we had to rush to the doors. As a “thank you” for the bracelet, the lovely lady paid for our bar tab.
Thank you, kind stranger.
I decided to start writing a bit for the blog since I do my best writing when I’m drunk. Then, the klonopin started to hit so Brandon and I decided to do a note passing of sorts on my TextEdit. I put letters in front of our names so you could tell who’s who.
“Brandon hates me right about now.
Okay so we may have had three cocktails before this flight and I MAY have taken a klonopin and interacted with the child behind us.
THE CHILD IS NOW SCREAMING.
Brandon is not happy whatsoever. I tried to explain that the baby just loves me and hates when I go away but he doesn’t believe me. The child also gave me his slobbered on dinosaur toy which I gracefully accepted because he’s adorable and whatever.
I’m trying to get Brandon to enjoy The Royals but he’s being ridiculously stubborn and refuses to listen to me. My poor baby. He’s very distraught by the child’s screams. Whatever cause I’m just straight chillin. OH WAIT THE BABY WANTS MY ATTENTION.
(Brandon) i fucking hate children unless one day i have one without the woman of my dreams whom is sitting next to me
(Me) This doesn’t make any sense. So you want to have a child with someone else but me?
(Brandon) i love screaming children that you encourage…. what the fuck are these girls doing running on tv
(Me) I don’t know but the baby behind us looks a lot ilk you. did you guys fuck or nah
(Brandon) nah i hate that bitch
You just ate a klonopin like an altoid. I DONT KNOW HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THAT. YOU LOOK LIKE YOURE ABOUT TO HAVE AN ANEURYSM.
(Megan) I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS… FUCK THE WORLD
GET A CHILD OUT HER. YA MY LIFE A BITCH BUT YOU KNOW NOTHIN BOUT HER
YOURE A RIOT DO YOU MIND IF I CALL YOU PAPI
(Brandon)NEVER CALL ME PAPI
(Megan) DO YOU LIKE THE WAY I FLICK MY TONGUE OR NAHNOT
(Brandon) IM NOT HAVING FUN ON THIS PLANE BESIDES THE FACT THAT IM SITTING NEXT TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND YOU MEAN MORE TO ME THAN ANYTHING….. I WOULD SIT NEXT TO A THOUSAND SCREAMING CHILDREN JUST TO COME BACK TO YOU WHERE EVER YOU ARE IN THE WORLD
BABE.. STOP… YOU’RE KILLIN ME. I JUST CAN’T LIVE LIFE WITHOUT YOU AND WHY HAVENT THEY TAKEN OUR DRINK ORDERS?
(Megan) YO FUCK THAT BALD DUDE
HIS TESTES ARE LEAVING HIS BODY BY TONIGHT”
And that was our conversation.
We arrived feeling so much better after a couple gallons of water and an adderall. Brandon’s uncle (who I adore very much) picked us up and we caught up with each other. When I see the way Brandon and his uncle interact, I get kind of sad. I wish I had been able to connect with a family member like that. Granted, I’m a girl so it’s a bit more rough but why couldn’t I have been best friends with any of my aunts?!
We arrived at their red-doored home (I know, I feel like I’m in Pleasantville whenever we stay with them. It’s just too charming for words) and Brandon’s aunt greeted us with open arms. I am in loooove with Brandon’s aunt. She’s not only patient, loving, and nurturing, but she’s a hard-worker and humble. She has that motherly touch and eyes that say, “Go on, I will never judge you”. I’m always afraid to hug her because I will never want to let go. She just radiates that sweet energy, you know?
The main reason that Brandon and I came up to Boston is because his poor pup is sick. Monster, a German Shepard, is basically Brandon’s son. I was terrified to meet him in February due to many people telling me how protective he is of Brandon and how much he hates girls. I grew up with big attack dogs so I knew how to approach him. I wouldn’t even call it “approaching” because you don’t go to the dog, you have the dog come and inspect you. I sat by the stairs and not too close to Monster and got sweet eyes and came to me. Now, Brandon is the creme in a Megan-Monster Oreo sandwich.
We went out to a cute bar on Thursday and met with two of Brandon’s good friends: Bobby and Steve. For the first time ever, I can honestly say that I like my boyfriends friends. They’re all respectable guys that I trust Brandon to be with. Not that Brandon is the cheating type but you know how guys are when they get together…
But I don’t feel worried when he goes out with these guys. They’re both brilliant and I could listen to them talk for days on end. I was so happy that we were able to meet up with them.
Brandon was about to take me to a different bar but when he peered in, he had a look of horror on his face. A look that I knew all too well: When you see your ex.
I rolled my eyes.
“Babe, it’s fine. I know you’ve fucked all of Boston. It’s okay cause I’ve fucked most of LA.”, I said jokingly.
I reminded him that there’s certain places in LA that we can’t go because of that very reason but it doesn’t matter. The past is in the past. Then one bitch shows up.
A short brunette with huge eyes bounds up to Brandon and gives him a bear hug. I always like to test girls and see if they’re just friends or if they want the D. I went in for a hug when introduced to her and made a joke that she was “sooo cute and tiny” that she could “fit in my bag”! Annnnnd….
A quick smirk before turning back to Brandon.
I will openly admit that I’m the jealous type. I don’t like girls stepping on my territory. He’s mine so STAY IN YO LANE.
Ugh, I remember being at The Ex’s friend’s house party when everyone (about 15 of us) were drinking and dancing in the kitchen. The Ex had told me about this girl having a crush on him and how she was always dropping hints at the office. I spotted her immediately and watched her like a hawk throughout the night. I presumed she was harmless and right then, she grabs The Ex’s hand (as I’m sitting on the counter and he’s leaning his back against me) and tries to dance. I saw red.
He tried to wiggle away and eventually let her hand go in a polite way. I stared at her like I was mentally shooting her in the face and she returned my deep gaze. Without taking my eyes off of her, I grabbed his face and gave him a romantic kiss. His friends all whooped and hollered when they had seen what I did.
Bottom line: Don’t. Touch. My. Man.
I have to get ready for dinner now. I’ll continue to write tomorrow!
Also, stay tuned for “Shopping in Boston: Newbury Street” where I talk about my favorite stores.