“How many people have you slept with?”

Ugh, I hate this question.

At least once in your life, you will be out with some of your closest friends and one of them will drunkenly slur either:

“When did you lose your virginity?


“How many people have you slept with?”

I’m always quick to answer the virginity question because I actually like my virginity story. The second question gets me a little on edge. The problem is that you never know who you’re really telling. You could get a wide-eyed response or a high five. It’s so much easier with guys. They never receive raised eyebrows when divulging the number of people they slept with. Why do girls? Why is it shameful to enjoy sex as a woman?

I was once hanging out with two friendsĀ and we were talking about boys. I was lamenting that I hadn’t had sex in 3 days and I was fiending for it. One of them glanced up at me with sad eyes and whispered, “You have sex a lot. Do you think you’re a sex addict?”.

I nearly spit out my coffee.

First of all, I was having sex with my boyfriend of 5 months at the time. Second, he’s my boyfriend so obviously we’re going to have sex a lot! Also, the other girl who had slept with 30 people (we literally counted and wrote down a list) the previous two months was giving me the same pathetic gaze. I wasn’t about to blow her cover but it made me really fucking mad.

I hate that I am automatically labeled a slut because I enjoy sex. Most girls who don’t enjoy it probably just don’t let themselves go during the act and are way to focused on it to savor the moment. I’ve talked to a lot of my guy friends about it and they told me the worst is when a girl is “starfishing” (or just laying there). One of my good friends walked out of a room at a party after having sex with a girl and immediately told me she was so “vanilla and boring”. When I asked why, he responded that she wouldn’t connect with him. She was too tense from overthinking it all.

What I want to say is that it’s okay to enjoy it and be as wild or kinky or whatever as you want. You are not a slut if you enjoy having sex frequently. You’re not going to be single forever if you screw over 20 guys before your marriage like that Anna Faris movie. YOU ARE FINE. ENJOY YOUR INTERCOURSE. ENJOY YOUR PORN THAT YOU HAVE OPEN ON A SECOND TAB JUST IN CASE ANYONE COMES IN AND YOU CAN EXIT AND SAY YOU ARE LOOKING AT HOUSES ON ZILLOW.

And if you must know, you can find out the amount of people that I have slept with by going through my posts. Add them up and there you go.



Megan Kennedy

2 thoughts on ““How many people have you slept with?”

    1. I don’t think it’s black and white like that. I think it’s more about when you become obsessed with sex and it interferes in your daily life like work , social life, etc


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