“I Was About To Tear Her Extensions Out”

Last night, I enjoyed a lovely dinner with my boyfriend and his adorable parents. We ate so many delicious things and Brandon’s dad said, “This is the best night ever.”.

I know, I died when he said that.


We finished dinner at around 10 PM or so and Brandon drove them back to Boynton Beach. My sister joined me at the bar as we waited for Brandon to return. We tossed back a couple Moscow Mules and hung out with some other Palm Beachers. Our friends suggested going to Cucina.

Now, I have been going to Cucina since I was fifteen years old. I have never had an issue with getting in or drinking there until this past year which makes absolute no sense to me. I hesitated because I was recently stopped there by a cop who had just told me to go home after giving me my fake ID back. The thing about this place is that it’s a hot spot on the island. It’s the only place that plays loud music and stays open past 1 AM. Other underage friends of mine have been arrested there but continue to go back because it’s fucking Cucina.

Anyways, we go to the bar next to Cucina’s and wait for Brandon. I had been drinking throughout dinner but I ate quite a bit so the alcohol wasn’t hitting me. I had sobered up by the time Brandon got to us. I whined about Cucina but my sister insisted that we stop in for one drink.


We walk in and make a beeline for the bar and it’s packed due to Easter weekend. I ran into a couple friends I knew in high school as I waited next to the bar with my friend Ali. I see a woman who looks very familiar walking up to us but I can’t quite place her. She looks just like every other 40-year-old woman in Palm Beach.

This fucking bitch walks up to me and squeezes in between us and puts her wrinkly ass hand a millimeter away from my face as if she was going to push me off.


I moved her hand away from my face gently and she looks back at me and does it again.

“Don’t raise your hand at me.”, I instructed.

“I will do whatever the fuck I waaaaant.”

She was clearly inebriated but that still didn’t give her license to do that. Caitlin took note of this and charged up to us.

“Don’t you dare touch my sister.”, She said sternly.

This bitch’s friend walks up next.

“What the fuck is going on?”, she asks.

My sister turned her attention onto the friend of the 40-year-old woman, who’s name is Binxie or something equally stupid.

“Your friend is putting her hand in my sisters face and should probably leave or else…”

The Friend became all high and mighty.

“OR ELSE WHAT? I WILL FUCK YOU UP.”, The Friend yelled as she pulled Binxie away.

I handed Brandon his drink and explained the situation. He is the calmest guy in the world so he rolled his eyes.

“Don’t let it get to you. That woman looks like she has had 4 kids.”

I fucking love him.

I laughed and he asked me to go have a cigarette with him. On our way out, we run into Binxie and The Friend. Binxie looks up at me passing (I didn’t even see her) and she lunges at me to push my face.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?”, I screamed at her and went to  splash her with Brandon’s drink.

Luckily, Brandon intervened and I couldn’t reach her 50-units-of-Botoxed face.

“I HOPE YOU’RE ENJOYING MENOPAUSE, BITCH!”, I shouted as Brandon hauled me away, kicking and screaming.

Thank God that Brandon did take me away just then because I was about to tear her extensions out. Keep in mind, I’m sober at this point. I’m not someone who fights people but this woman was literally pushing my face.

Cops were out front because there had been a fight between some 20 year old guys with too much testosterone and I knew it was probably a good idea to calm down. With every drag, I fantasized about going back inside and breaking a bottle over her head. I don’t even know this woman but she clearly knows me. What’s wrong? Did your second husband stare at me for too long? Was she having a hot flash or something?

Next thing I know, I see my sister getting in this girls face.

“Megan, don’t.”, Brandon warned. I went back in because that’s my sister and it’s not about her. She was just trying to stand up for me. That doesn’t go over too well when you’ve had one too many shots of vodka.

I tried pulling Caitlin away and they were getting louder. Binxie raised her hand at me once again and I grabbed her wrist and twisted it before letting it go. The cops came inside and asked if everything was alright. The one that has seen me before looks at me quizzically.

“How old are you? Let me see your ID.”

I didn’t want to get mine taken so I said I didn’t have one.

“Alright, you gotta leave.”, he said.

I nodded and gladly walked outside and went home with Brandon.

What’s baffling me the most is why she did it. Who the fuck is this woman? Who does that?

The only other time that I physically lashed out was Kelsey when we were in Berlin. I was ridiculously hungover and Kelsey was poking me like a 4 year old.

“If you don’t fucking stop… I swear to God, Kelsey.”


I just remember seeing red and launching myself at her with my hands going for her throat. I had pinned her against the wall with my forearm at her neck. Her boyfriend had to get me off of her and calm me down. We were over it in 10 minutes but it was still pretty intense.

I want to get one thing straight: I am not a violent person. I do not like to fight with people. I’m usually a very calm person. That is, until someone disrespects or puts a hand on me.  I don’t know why it gets to me so much and I know it’s something I need to work on. Violence is never the answer and it really doesn’t get you anywhere. I shouldn’t have reacted to this woman. She’s a worthless person who probably spends her days complaining about her cheating husbands and how small her alimony checks are.




5 thoughts on ““I Was About To Tear Her Extensions Out”

  1. You seem like a decently smart girl, so I know you will understand this.

    Your Boyfriend Saying:

    “Don’t let it get to you. That woman looks like she has had 4 kids.”

    That lady seemed like a bitch but your boyfriend attacking her body to seem like she is LESS of a person is fucked up.

    People making these types of comments is WHY GIRLS HAVE EATING DISORDERS. You are smart girl so reading this annoyed me.

    Since when is a lady having 4 kids something to be ashamed about??? How about attacking her personality next time?


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