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Where do I even begin?

I guess I will start by introducing myself.

Hi, my name is Megan Kennedy. I was born in sunny West Palm Beach, FL almost twenty years ago to Lorri Kennedy and Brad Moores. My three siblings, Chris, Caitlin, and Robbie, greeted me with glee when I was brought home to our Jupiter Farms estate. I wish so badly that I had the photo of me that was taken at the hospital. I was an ugly little thing. My mom always joked that I came out looking like her old Chilean boyfriend, Hugo.

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I had a fairly normal life growing up. I always thought that I had the most outlandish family in the world until I realized every family is crazy in their own way. I was definitely the loner out of the four and I didn’t feel like I related to my siblings the way that they all naturally could. i.e. I enjoyed listening to The Beatles and reading books for fun whereas they enjoyed Grand Theft Auto and shopping. I was constantly dragged along to these after-school shopping sprees with my mom and sister where I would inevitably end up sitting in a Saks dressing room, still wearing my St.Juliana School uniform, and twiddling my thumbs. They always tried to get me to try things on and look cute but I had absolutely no desire. I hated shopping and I HATED SAKS.

Growing up next to my sister was difficult. She was this tan, fit, blonde haired girl who always dressed impeccably and wore makeup. She really took the time out to look so polished and was always encouraging me to do the same. I realized that I was the uglier sister during one of our shopping excursions when I stared at the both of us in the mirror. She looked positively beautiful and I dulled in comparison with my “clear” braces and too many freckles. This didn’t seem fair to me AT ALL.

When you’re the younger sister, you develop something that I call, “The Jan Brady Syndrome”. You are the younger, not-as-cute Jan and your sister is the flawless Marcia. Everything she does is seemingly perfect and you feel like she’s just trying to make you look worse. People gawk at her when she passes and then gaze at you with this look that says, ” Aw, maybe one day you’ll get there”.

I also thought my mom favored Caitlin over me because she was older and prettier. Honestly, I think she did but it was more because they were so alike. I don’t blame her at all. I was this weirdo kid that was extremely closed off. I tried to cry as little as I possibly could because crying symbolized defeat or failure to me. My mother and sister are very in touch with their emotions and will open up to just about anyone.

I liked being emotionally detached. I felt like I didn’t feel pain as intensely as my mom and sister. I also learned an amazing technique of blocking traumatic events out of my head. That’s why I’m not very descriptive when I write about any craziness that occurred during my childhood. I’ve put a lot of my memories in locked safes stored deep in my brain. A lot of it is still pretty fuzzy to me.

My brother has asked me to be very vague about him while I’m writing this so I’ll keep it brief. Robbie is my brother who is three years older than me. We were very close when I was 4-10 years old but then one day he didn’t want to play with me anymore. I was super confused and upset by this. Why did he want to hang out with his lame friends instead of ME? Clearly, I had mistaken him getting older with him not loving me as much anymore. He and I became acquaintances and it was as if I was living down the hall from a stranger. We didn’t become close again until this past year which I’m very grateful for. I realize now how hard it must have been for him being the only boy in an estrogen-powered household.

People give the Kardashians so much criticism about their unconventionality but I admire them. I applaud how close they truly are. People will never really know what happens behind closed doors but I got a slight glimpse of it when I saw them out together one night. I was at a Hollywood nightclub called “Wax Rabbit” and Kendall, Kylie, Khloe, and Scott were sitting at a friends table. I had walked over to say hello to my friend and lo and behold, it’s the fucking Kardashians! I watched them as I sipped my vodka-cranberry. They were all sitting so close to each other and just kind of dancing and whispering and holding hands. They love each other unconditionally. That’s family.

I’m sure their 80 million dollar net worth probably helps too.

Anyways, I have to wrap this up and get back to work but I guess my bottom line is: Welcome to my blog, The Retired Model. I am just that. I wanted to write a book about my life as a model and the madness that I experienced in the last five years but then I realized that I’m still very young and the madness is FAR from over. I want to take my readers (that’s you) through my life, mixing my past and my present. I hope you enjoy.

Megan 1

x,

Megan


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